Traditional ideas of masculinity and femininity are interrogated throughout the novel, and this motif relates heavily to the relationship between John Grady and Alejandra. Dueña Alfonsa urges John Grady to respect Alejandra’s honor, with the implication that if is she is not perceived as a dignified, respectable woman then she will have no power in Mexican society. It’s telling that Dueña Alfonsa shrugs off John Grady’s protests that the patriarchal system that Alejandra lives under is unfair: Dueña Alfonsa sees the system as immutable, so trying to reject its dictates is an invitation to disaster. This ties into the idea of Belief in Virtue in a Compromised World: Despite experiencing her own tragedy of love and thinking the world is unfair to women, Dueña Alfonsa accepts the world as it is.

Don Héctor is another figure who puts pressure on Alejandra to conform to gendered expectations, and her affair with John Grady is a direct flouting of his ideology. For Don Héctor, how a woman should behave is so ingrained that Alejandra’s actions put an enormous strain on their relationship and lead him to nearly murder John Grady, whom he had previously treated as a protégé.