Content Warning: This section of the guide describes mental health conditions, terminal illnesses, death by suicide, teenage pregnancy, and sexual abuse.

“I’m eighteen, Doc. This is my call. I don’t expect you to understand, but you have no choice but to go along. This shit is confidential.”

Ben Wolf wants to live his life on his own terms after Doc Wagner informs him that he only has one year left to live. Ben decides not to tell his family and community about his condition because he wants to exercise his agency and live a normal life. His secrecy creates tension and incites the novel’s primary conflicts. This moment also introduces the novel’s explorations of The Impact of Secrets and the Value of Transparency.

“This is a story about a kid who always knew at some core level he was moving on early and, even through the initial terror and disbelief, is going to figure out, come hell or high water (I vote high water), a way to consolidate a life into a year. Before Doc told me, I thought I had time to play, but now this year is my life. I have maybe twelve months to fall in love, marry, make smart investments, grow old, and die. But it’s relative right?”

Ben’s diagnosis changes his outlook on life and launches his journey toward self-discovery. Ben decides that he won’t let his newfound condition disempower him. Instead, he uses his prognosis as a source of motivation and a tool for change. His response to his prognosis conveys his strong will, bravery, and determination.

“First period of the first day of school I realize if I’m going to maximize my education this year, I’d better take control.”

Ben’s desire to live a full life extends to the academic realm. He doesn’t simply want to have fun in his final days but wants to learn as much as he can, too. His motivation is multivalent, and therefore reveals Ben’s deep, passionate character traits and desire for Self-Discovery and Personal Growth in the Face of Adversity.