Compare and contrast Hanneke’s friendship with Elsbeth and Mirjam’s friendship with Amalia. How does Hanneke feel about Elsbeth? How do Hanneke and Mirjam react to their best friends’ seeming betrayals? How does Mirjam’s description of Amalia change Hanneke’s perspective?

Discuss the importance of letters and writing in this book. How does Bas’s unread letter affect Hanneke? How does Bas’s letter to Ollie compare with her expectations? How does she use Bas’s note in her book to come to an acceptance of his death? Alternately, discuss Mirjam and Amalia’s notes.

After spending the night at Mrs. de Vries’s, Hanneke tells her mother that she is “not her child anymore.” How does her night away affect their relationship? What does this show about relationships between parents and children during wartime?