Throughout the book, Lily refuses to worry about what people think of her. Even as a child, she questions the way her mother lives. As a teacher, she is fired more than once because she wants to teach the way she feels is right rather than according to social conventions. This attitude is also instilled in her daughter, who lives her own life, even if it is not what her mother expects.

There are only a few instances when Lily cares what people think about her, but only people who are important to her. One is when she spies on Jim when she is worried about him cheating. The other is when she prepares herself to defend her father during the trial with their neighbor. In both cases, she ends up realizing that her worry was unnecessary and reinforces her conviction that you shouldn’t worry about what other people think of you. 

This theme is threaded throughout the entire novel. Lily constantly meets with struggles in her life. These falls would break most people, including her sister Helen, who ultimately commits suicide. Lily, however, learns to literally fall off horses and still get back up again. Interestingly, most of the events that change her life occur when she falls.