Content Warning: This section of the guide contains discussion of mental health conditions, suicide, domestic abuse, alcohol addiction, and violence.

Kidd Ellison, the narrator, stands amid a crowd. They await the grunion run, when thousands of fish migrate onto the beach to spawn before returning to the water. Looking at the cliff, Kidd spots the girl he loves, Olivia, with his ex-best friend, Devon. As he sprints up, Kidd watches Devon trace a mark on Olivia’s cheek and kiss her. Kidd charges, pulling Devon toward a weak part of the fence at the cliff’s edge. When Olivia shouts, Kidd insists he is protecting her. Olivia’s lip trembles, reminding him of his mother, who, on his 10th birthday, shared information about Kidd’s father. Kidd hears the ocean and his ex-friend’s taunting voice before shoving Devon over the edge. Everyone races to the motionless body, and Olivia screams Kidd’s name. While he waits for the police, Kidd watches the grunion turn the beach, and Devon’s body, silver.

In solitary confinement, Kidd’s arms, legs, and head are strapped down. Laying in utter darkness and sore everywhere, he worries. If Kidd had his philosophy of life journal, he could have written everything down, including how he feels worse now than when his mother died.