Content Warning: The source text contains references to and descriptions of child abuse, substance use and addiction, sexual assault, and trauma. The text also contains outdated and stigmatizing language and descriptions surrounding mental health conditions. Additionally, this study guide quotes and obscures the author’s use of the n-word.

“Had to cut her loose. Had to.

I’d already taken that rough ride

with my schizophrenic mother,

and that’s one ticket

I will not buy again.”

In the prologue, Nikki describes how she cuts ties with a friend who has bipolar disorder because of her past experiences with her mother, who has schizophrenia. The Prologue establishes Nikki’s complicated relationship with her mother, suggesting that some of the difficulties she experiences growing up came from this quarter. Because of her experiences with Bernice, Nikki appears largely unsympathetic to and afraid of mental health conditions throughout the book, even using stigmatizing language to talk about the same.

“Toughness is what I was after,

although I couldn’t have

articulated as much.

My real name huddled

behind that wall,

along with its memories.”

Nikki describes how she took on her new name as a way to leave her old self and its memories behind in the past. Memory and the past are important threads in the book, and Nikki Grimes explores how her recollections of events have been affected by the trauma of the events themselves. This gives rise to the theme of The Impact of Trauma on Memory. Grimes’s confession about her name also suggests that, despite the book being a memoir, there is some distinction between “Nikki” as the protagonist and persona in the book, and the whole, entire person that the author is.