This chapter opens with a flashback to the moment that Nick learned his father would be leaving for Iraq. The progress of the Iraq War caught both Nick and his dad by surprise, and to this day, Nick struggles to understand the root of the conflict overseas. In the present, Nick is surprised and overjoyed to see his father waiting in the car at school. When they get home, Nick and his dad try to play catch using only their left arms, and it’s difficult and painful for both of them.

The narrative cuts to Wendell Waxmo at home, watching the home shopping channels on TV and purchasing every idiotic contraption advertised. It is strongly suggested that modern consumer culture is either the cause, or an effect, of Waxmo’s intellectual deficits. An unnamed figure bursts into Waxmo’s house and delivers a scolding lecture, ordering him to resign as Mrs. Starch’s substitute because “Bunny Starch takes her responsibilities very seriously […] and she’s been receiving some very disturbing reports from your classroom, Wendell” (179). Because of his distinctive ammo belt, it is clear that the intruder is Twilly Spree. Waxmo fearfully agrees to resign from the job.