Patroclus’s name in Greek means “glory of his father,” but he was the opposite. Menoitius is disappointed by Patroclus’s small size and lack of heroic (in the traditional Greek mythical sense) destiny and treats him with contempt. Menoitius wants his son to be something that he is not, and Patroclus is aware of this. He feels shame, lacks confidence, and is unable to appreciate the gifts that he does have.

When he first meets Achilles at Menoitius’ Panhellenic games, Patroclus is jealous of Achilles’s physical and martial excellence and easy confidence. Seeing that his father envies Peleus fills Patroclus with resentment towards Achilles. Patroclus brings this resentment with him to his exile in Phthia, where Achilles’s father is king. Achilles is drawn to him, though, and requests Patroclus as a companion. Seeing Achilles’s brilliance up close initially fuels Patroclus’s resentment, but that changes when he realizes that Achilles does not want to change Patroclus. He likes Patroclus for who and what he is. This first experience of acceptance frees Patroclus to appreciate Achilles’s brilliance and see the divine in it, without feeling personally diminished by it. Achilles’s beauty, skill, and acceptance captivate Patroclus, and he falls in love with Achilles.

The love and acceptance he feels from Achilles enables Patroclus to grow into his true self.