“Death always thinks of us eventually. The trick is to find the joy in the interim, and make good use of the days we have.”

Patchett describes how she began writing essays during the pandemic because, unlike when she writes fiction, thoughts of death don’t haunt her when she writes non-fiction. Though she is grateful that these thoughts stayed away throughout her time penning this collection, she knows she cannot outrun death; it is the unavoidable end, making it more important to appreciate life in the present. This recurrent attitude of Patchett informs the theme of Life, Death, and Letting Go.

“…both men were central in my life: my father wanting me to be more like him, my stepfather wanting to be more like me.”

Patchett explores the relationships with her father and stepfathers in “Three Fathers.” Her biological father, Frank, and her stepfather, Mike, were particularly influential in her life as she was growing up. Patchett understands that Frank’s lack of support for her writing and Mike’s blind encouragement of it are born out of both men’s respective worldviews and personal desires. They present opposing but complementary and necessary forces in Patchett’s journey to becoming a writer.

“Her parents then invited me for the next two Thanksgivings as well, and they invited me long after we had graduated because I made excellent gravy and they had never learned how. […] And I never taught them because I loved them. I wanted to be invited back.”

After the first Thanksgiving in college that Patchett spends away from loved ones, she receives recurring invitations to her friend Erica’s home every year. Despite the success of the meal she cooks and hosts in that first year, Patchett enjoys celebrating with Erica’s family far more. The essay displays Patchett’s characteristic mix of self-reliance and need for community: She pulls off a solo Thanksgiving successfully and without complaint, but deeply cherishes time spent with loved ones.