As a child, Grant says he hated being asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, both because they never liked his answer and because he felt aimless. On the other hand, his cousin Ryan knew—or at least believed he knew—that he wanted to become a doctor from the time he was young. However, although he had the work ethic for it, by the time he reached college, Ryan was beginning to express doubts, and by the time he finished his residency, he was already burned out. Though he is currently a neurosurgeon, he tells Grant that if he had it to do over again, he would have done something else with his life.

Grant argues that while it’s good to have plans and goals, they can sometimes lead to tunnel vision and prevent us from seeing alternative possibilities. “When we dedicate ourselves to a plan and it isn’t going as we hoped,” he writes, “our first instinct isn’t usually to rethink it” (228). He notes that although grit is a major factor in success, it can also cause people to escalate commitment to a plan when they should pivot instead.

When we ask children what they want to be when they grow up, Grant suggests that we inadvertently push them into limiting mindsets that drive their later goals.