Doyle defines “the Knowing” as an internal stillness not reliant on external factors or voices. She turns towards this Knowing in the aftermath of her husband’s infidelity as she struggles to decide whether to leave him. After searching for an answer through her friends and even on the Internet, Doyle is inspired to incorporate daily moments of silence after receiving a card from a friend with the message to “Be Still and Know.” Through these small moments of stillness, Doyle builds a longer and more integrated process that she carries throughout the memoir. As she maneuvers through the obstacles of bulimia, addiction, and infidelity, Doyle turns to her Knowing to guide her and forge a path of self-reliance.

Doyle encourages this sense of Knowing not only in her readers but also in her children, particularly her daughters. Though her own experiences as a woman, Doyle investigates the ways in which women specifically abandon their Knowing to adhere to the social conditioning that permeates their lives. Doyle learns to distrust the pervading societal messages about what it means to be a woman, which allows her to connect to her Knowing and make the decision to pursue a relationship with Abby.