In Watching You, identity is complex and truth is subjective. Each character grapples with their own perceptions of reality and their place within it. Without access to an evident, objective truth, characters rely on labels to help them understand themselves and communicate with each other.

Joey struggles to understand herself and move forward in her life until she is able to dissect and understand her own identity and motivations. Later in the novel, Joey comes to terms with what the novel implies is the correct label to her infatuation. Before this moment, she perceives “a hundred voices” shouting conflicting messages in her head and compares her psyche to a load in a washing machine “churning and turning” (242). This metaphor illustrates Joey’s internal chaos and reflects her inability to form a cohesive identity. Her self-perception is constantly shifting and conflicted. She feels unable to access “her instincts” and so “[take] control of her own destiny” (242). The pressure to embody multiple facets of herself erodes her agency. While waiting for Tom in the hotel room, she “suddenly [realizes] that [...] the burning flame of desire that had informed her entire existence for the last three months” is “simply an itch” (263).