“In the end, write it down. Back up and find the story […] The trick is to dig out the people and events that connect, and connect them.”

In this early quote, T.J. explains the rationale for telling his story and his approach to telling his story. His focus on connection is one of the legacies of John Paul, who always emphasized the importance of connections between people.

“I’m black. And Japanese. And white. Politically correct would be African-American, Japanese American, and what?  Northern European American? […] I know next to nothing about the individuals who contributed allthat exotic DNA, so it’s hard to carve out a cultural identity in my mind. So: Mixed, Blended, Pureed. Potpourri […] Adopted.”

T.J. articulates important elements of his identity in this quote. His ambiguous and diverse racial identity is not one to which he feels particularly connected. Being adopted is also an important part of his identity, and, as illustrated by this quote, his attitude toward being adopted is a positive one.

“Sometimes I find myself longing for her, just to see or talk with her, discover more about the unsettledness within me; but most of the time that ache sits in a shaded corner of my mind, a vague reminder of what it is not to be wanted.”

Although T.J. has positive feelings about being adopted, he nevertheless feels a sense of abandonment because his mother left him. This sense of not being wanted is one of the reasons for his alienation from many of his peers.