Chapter 18 focuses on authenticity and self-acceptance. It first describes an anecdote about Emma, who learned to set boundaries with her daughter and listen to her inner voice, which positively impacted their relationship. Pipher shows how Emma’s work on herself helped her learn her true identity later in life, highlighting the importance of authenticity and self-acceptance in finding one’s “true self” through self-awareness. This growth results from having intention and learning new skills, including not caring about what other people think, accepting negative feelings and limitations, and prioritizing people they enjoy spending time with.

Women exhibit authenticity in multiple ways, such as setting boundaries, discussing pain and anxiety with friends, or doing what they want. An anecdote about Kestrel illustrates that authenticity involves learning to trust. When she became vulnerable in her discussions with Becca, she developed trust. Through Sal, Pipher demonstrates that authenticity can involve religion: Throughout Sal’s life, religion has kept her grounded through addiction, breast cancer, and other struggles.

Pipher argues that “authentic lives result from a deepening process that requires us to listen to our bodies, our hearts, and our minds” (204).